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Journey back to Victorian London with us for the eighth episode of The Importance of Being Earnest, based on the original comedy by Oscar Wilde.
It's time for the men to it they're not called Ernest. How will Gwendolen and Cecily react?
NarratorCecily and Gwendolen both thought they were engaged to someone called Ernest. But Gwendolen has just found out her man's real name is Jack. Let's them in the garden now, where Cecily is asking Algernon an important question...
CecilyAre you engaged to Gwendolen?
AlgernonEngaged to Gwendolen? Of course not! What made you think that?
CecilyThank you.
NarratorAnd Cecily lets Algernon kiss her on her cheek.
GwendolenI knew there was some slight error, Miss Cardew. The gentleman who is now embracing you is my cousin, Mr Algernon Moncrieff.
CecilyAlgernon! Is your name Algernon?
AlgernonI cannot deny it.
CecilyOh!
GwendolenIs your name really Jack?
JackMy name certainly is Jack. It's been Jack for years.
CecilyGwendolen, we have both been greatly deceived.
GwendolenMy poor Cecily!
CecilyMy sweet Gwendolen!
Jack and Algernon [groan]
GwendolenMr Worthing, there is just one question I would like to ask you. Where is your brother Ernest? Cecily and I are both engaged to be married to your brother, so it is a matter of some importance to us to know where he is at present.
JackGwendolen, Cecily, it is very painfulfor me to speak the truth and I am really quite inexperienced in doing anything of the kind. However, I will tell you quite frankly that I don't have a brother Ernest. I don't have a brother at all. I've never had a brother in my life, and I don't plan to ever have one in the future.
CecilyNo brother at all?
JackNone!
GwendolenHave you never had a brother of any kind?
JackNever. Not even of any kind.
GwendolenCecily, it's quite clear that neither of us are engaged to be married to anyone.
CecilyIt's not a very pleasant position for a young girl suddenly to find herself in. Is it?
GwendolenLet's go in the house. They'll dare not come after us there.
CecilyNo, men are so cowardly, aren't they?
NarratorAnd the two women, who minutes before were arguing, now go arm in arm into the house.
JackThis awful situation is what you call Bunburying, I suppose?
AlgernonYes, and a wonderful Bunbury it is.
JackWell, you've no right to Bunbury here.
AlgernonThat's absurd. People can Bunbury anywhere they choose. Every serious Bunburyist knows that.
JackSerious Bunburyist! Good heavens!
AlgernonWell, you have to be serious about something.
JackWell, the only satisfaction I have in all this terrible business is that your friend Bunbury is finished. You won't be able to run to the country quite as often as you used to, dear Algy.
AlgernonYour brother is a little unwell, isn't he, dear Jack? You won't be able to disappear to London quite so frequently now.
JackAs for your behaviour towards Miss Cardew, I must say that fooling a sweet, innocent girl like that is quite inexcusable. To say nothing of the fact that I am her guardian.
AlgernonI can see no excuse at all for you deceiving a clever, thoroughly experienced young lady like Miss Fairfax. To say nothing of the fact that she is my cousin.
JackI wanted to be engaged to Gwendolen, that is all. I love her.
AlgernonWell, I simply wanted to be engaged to Cecily. I adore her.
JackThere is certainly no chance of your marrying Miss Cardew.
AlgernonAnd I don't think it's very likely, Jack, that you and Miss Fairfax will be together. Ooh... muffins...
JackWell, that's no business of yours... And how can you sit there, calmly eating muffins when we are in this horrible trouble? You seem perfectly heartless.
Algernon [eating] Well, I can't eat muffins in a nervous way. The butter would probably get on my sleeves. You should always eat muffins quite calmly. It's the only way to eat them.
Jack Well, that's no reason to eat them all in that greedy way. Give them to me.
AlgernonBut you just said it was heartless to eat muffins.
JackAlgy, I wish you would go.
AlgernonYou can't possibly ask me to go without having some dinner. Besides I have just arranged with Reverend Chasuble to be christened at a quarter to six with the name of Ernest.
JackMy dear fellow, please stop that nonsense. I arranged this morning with Reverend Chasuble to be christened myself at 5.30, and I will, of course, take the name of Ernest. We can't both be called Ernest. Besides, I have a perfect right to be christened if I like. There is no evidence at all that I have ever been christened by anybody. You, on the other hand, have already been christened.
AlgernonYes, but I haven't been christened for years.
JackYes, but you have been christened. That's the important thing.
AlgernonYes, so I know I can stand it. You're not quite sure that you have ever been christened, and I think it would be rather dangerous to do it now. It might make you very unwell.
Jack[eating] Oh, that's nonsense; you are always talking nonsense.
AlgernonJack, you're eating the muffins again! I wish you wouldn't. There are only two left. I told you I was particularly fond of muffins.
JackAlgernon! I have already told you to go. I don't want you here.
AlgernonI haven't quite finished my tea yet! And there is still one muffin left.
Jack[groans in despair]
embracing holding someone in your arms to show you love them
deny to say something is not true
deceived tricked
cowardly not brave enough to do something they should
Bunburying invented word which means inventing a person (either for yourself or a different person) to give you an excuse for behaving in a different way or to avoid situations
inexcusabledescribing behaviour that is very bad
muffinssmall, round breads that are sliced and eaten hot with butter
heartlessshowing no feeling or consideration for others
Reverendtitle for a person who performs religious duties in the Christian Church
christenedgiven a name (usually as a baby) during a religious ceremony in the Christian Church
rightsomething a person is allowed to do or have
constitutionstate of someone's health
Miss Cecily Cardew: Alice Brown
Miss Gwendolen Fairfax: Sophie Napleton
Jack Worthing: Tim Gibson
Algernon Moncreiff: Darren Benedict
Narrator: Finn Aberdein
Original play written by: Oscar Wilde
Adaptation by: Sue Mushin
Illustrator: Magdolna Terray
ELT consultant: Catherine Chapman
Producer: Finn Aberdein
All is revealed in the final episode
Lady Bracknell makes a surprise appearance
It's time for the men to it they're not called Ernest
Cecily and Gwendolen both think they're engaged to someone called Ernest. When they meet it can't go well, can it?
Algernon and Cecily's relationship takes an interesting twist
Jack returns home to find his friend Algernon there. Algernon's pretending to be Jack's brother so he can win Cecily's heart
Algernon secretly goes to visit Cecily. He's pretending to be Jack's wicked younger brother, Ernest
Jack has proposed to his darling Gwendolen, and she has accepted. But her mother is not happy.
Algernon and Jack reveal they both lead double lives. But can Jack win the heart of the woman he really loves?
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Cecily and Gwendolen both think they're engaged to someone called Ernest
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